The "new year, new me" crap

Ahh!  The New Year's resolution list that some people promise, most don't keep, and many abandon in the first 30 days of the new year.

Although some of my goals have been amended, I think this list of mine is very doable, and with a bit of hard work, maybe some help from friends (if they're willing), I will be extremely successful on some of the goals.

So, here is what I came up with:

1) Gym use and weight loss - Pretty simple and straightforward, I think.  Once I'm clear of any upcoming surgeries (for a while, anyway), I will begin using my gym membership with Planet Fitness.  My weight loss goal is to lose at least 20 lbs.  40lbs by my birthday, Aug. 27th, which is very doable if I stick to this one resolution.

2) Resume and continue music lessons: preferably with piano, but if I can get guitar in somewhere, that would be wonderful.  I want to be able to play one Phil Collins song by the end of 2017, even if it's just part of it.  Again, very doable.

3) Get my own place - I am officially on a wait list for housing from the county, so it's just a matter of time.  Once I have my own place I will be able to continue studying and practicing my music without being continually interrupted.

4) Get weaned off pain meds - Hopefully for good, but if I do indeed have "nerve pain" (which is extremely likely), I won't be on such powerful meds.  I want to be able to take one, rest, and then be legally able to drive myself where I need to go.

5) Lastly, I just want to be more outgoing.  I may not always go camping, or go on a mini-roadtrip, but I want to be going out to shoot pool (billards), bowling, etc.  Anything to keep my activity level up.  If that means I take fencing lessons again, then I will take fencing lessons. 

These were just a few I could think of, but as for how I will achieve them, I will have to plan out measurable milestones.  For example, did I sign up for classes?  Can I post a video that shows me completing a goal?  That sort of thing will help show if I am progressing or otherwise.  Though, I admit that being on camera is not one of my favorite things, especially having no left eye, just a socket with a conformer lens in there.  I'm a bit self-conscious about it.

Anyway, I'm hoping this time it sticks.  I want to be healthier in 2017.  I've already modified my diet somewhat, so all I need is just to get my ass more active.

So, we'll see what 2017 will be like.  Hopefully it will be friendly!

JRK's Favorite Quotes volume 1

A collection of quotes, both based in TV/film and in real life.  These are quotes that have since guided my principles and beliefs for 30+ years.  I may never ever hold a public office, but at least I can say I have attempted to live my life with a sense of ethical boundaries that I have only mildly crossed here and there, but hopefully nothing that would make me a bad person overall.

Anyway, you'll note that many are from Star Trek, any of the series or movies.  I'm trying to add more from Futurama, and even more from Family Guy.  Some of my favorites though are from science fiction television and film.  Enjoy!

[Author's note:  I'm limited to the formating on my phone's "Blogger App", so pictures, if any, many may not display correctly until I do some editing.  In which case, there will be a post about editing changes on either Twitter or Facebook, and at that point you may need to refresh the page or clear out your browser cache and refresh it.  It's been a while since I have done any HTML or Web editing, so my apologies if it looks weird!  Still, enjoy!]

[When referring to the forced relocation of the Ba'ku people in the Briar Patch sector 441] "How many people does it take before it becomes wrong? A thousand? Fifty thousand? A million? How many people DOES IT TAKE, admiral!?" ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard  (Patrick Stewart), "Star Trek: Insurrection"

"The only difference between science and screwing around is writing it down" ~Adam Savage, former co-host "Mythbusters"

“The first duty of every Starfleet officer is to the truth, whether it’s scientific truth, or historical truth, or personal truth!  It is the guiding principle of what Starfleet is based!” ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), “The First Duty” season 5.

“‘A matter of internal security’... The age old cry of the oppressor!” ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) on stardate 43489.2, “The Hunted” season 3

“Villains who wear black hats are easy to spot.  Villains who twirl their mustaches are easy to spot.  Those who cloth themselves in good deeds are well camouflaged.” ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), “The Drumhead” season 4

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose.  That is not a weakness.  That is life!” ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), “Peak Performance” season 2

“"With the first link, the chain is forged.  The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the freedom denied - chains us all irrevocably." Those words were uttered by Judge Aaron Satie, as wisdom and warning.  The first time any man’s freedom is trodden upon, we’re all damaged.” ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), “The Drumhead” season 4

“... The claim ‘I was only following orders.’ has been used to justify too many tragedies in our history.  Starfleet does not want officers who will blindly follow orders without analyzing the situation.” ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), “Redemption Part II” season 5 opener.

“We cannot regain honor by acting dishonorably.” ~Lt. Worf (Michael Dorn), “Redemption”, season 4 finale

“Angels and Ministers of Grace defend us!” ~"Hamlet" Act 1, Scene 4

"Work smarter, not harder!" ~Scrooge McDuck (Alan Young), "Ducktales"

"I reject your reality, and substitute my own!" ~Adam Savage, co-host, "Mythbusters"

"When in doubt...C4!" ~Jamie Hyneman, co-host,"Mythbusters"

"Jamie want big boom!" ~Jamie Hyneman, co-host, "Mythbusters"

"The ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife, whereas the moral man actually wouldn't!" ~Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard (David McCallum), NCIS

"If you're pissing off more than a few people, you can be rest assured that you're on the right track!" ~Unknown

"What does 'God' need with a starship?" ~Capt. James T. Kirk (William Shatner) from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

[whispers] "I've seen this movie.  It hits Paris!" ~Col. Jack O'Neill (Richard Dean Anderson) from Stargate SG-1, season 5 "Fail Safe" referring to the movie "Armageddon" (w/ Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, and Ben Affleck) when a meteor takes out Paris, France.

"Success is not final.  Failure is not fatal.  It's the courage to continue that counts!" ~Winston Churchill, former British Prime Minister during WWII

"I can only please one person, per day at a time.  Today is not your day!  Tomorrow is not looking good either!" ~Unknown

"Hey you, your village called! Their idiot is missing!"~Unknown

"We ride together, we die together.  Bad boys for life!" (Bad Boys II w/ Will Smith and Martin Lawrence)

"Your Bark is only as good as your Bite. BITE HARD!!" ~JRK 2004

"Yippe Ki-yay, Motherfucker!" Classic John McClane from "Die Hard"

"I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes!" ~Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) "Spaceballs"

"If there is to be a brave new world, our generation is going to have the hardest time living in it." ~Chancellor Gorkon (David Warner) from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

"I hope you diplomatically told him where to shove it." ~Col. Jack O'Neill (Richard Dean Anderson) from Stargate SG-1, Season 6, "Shadowplay"

"Though a candle burns in my house…there's nobody home." ~Col. Jack O'Neill (Richard Dean Anderson) from Stargate SG-1, Season 6 "Abyss"

"Operation `This Will Most Likely End Badly' is a go!" - Lt. Col. John Sheppard (Joe Flanigan) from Stargate Atlantis, Season 3 "No Man's Land"

"I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin." ~ Neo (Keanu Reeves), from the movie "The Matrix"

"Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgments." - Zefram Cochrane (James Cromwell) "Star Trek: First Contact" spoken by Cmdr. William T. Riker (Jonathon Frakes)

"There's brilliant, and then there's me!" ~ Dr. Rodney McKay (David Hewlett) from Stargate Atlantis, season 2 "Grace Under Pressure"

"And that's what happens when back a brilliant scientist into a corner!" ~Dr. Rodney McKay from Stargate Atlantis, season 2, "The Hive"

"I wanna know who thinks I'm not a threat and give them a chance to change their minds!" - Ronon Dex (Jason Momoa) From Stargate Atlantis, Season 2, "Coup d'etat"

"Do or Do Not!  There is no try!" - Yoda from "Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back"

"Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalks us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived.  After all, Number One, we're only mortal." - Capt. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) from Star Trek: Generations

Smith (Hugo Weaving): "I want everything!" Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne): "Would that include a bullet from this gun?"  (From the movie "The Matrix Reloaded")

"There can be only ONE!" - From the movie "Highlander"

"To hunt a species to extinction is illogical" ~ Capt. Spock (Leonard Nimoy), "Who said the human race was logical?" ~Dr. Gillian Taylor (Catherine Hicks) - Star Trek IV: "The Voyage Home"

Stewie Griffin from Family Guy, "Road to Rhode Island": Hello, operator? Hello? Oh God, that's right, you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. I should know this...oh, yes, 867-5309, that's it. No wait, that's not it. Damn you, Tommy Two-Tone!"

"It is an historical irony that Dr. Cochrane would use an instrument of mass-destruction to inaugurate an era of peace." ~Lt. Cmdr. Data (Brent Spiner) "Star Trek: First Contact"

"R2, I need you to turn the auto-pilot off. Now! [Nothing happens] Worth a try." ~Lt. Col. John Sheppard (Joe Flanigan), Stargate Atlantis Season 2, "The Lost Boys"

[Referring to Ian Edgerton] "They say that guy's the bastard son of Clint Eastwood and Yoda!" ~Agent Colby Granger (Dylan Bruno), season 2 "Toxin", Numb3rs

"I always hope for the best.  Experience, unfortunately, has taught me to always expect for the worst." ~Garak (Andrew Robinson), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (DS9), season 6 "Favor the Bold"

[Paraphrased] "Many that die deserve life, and some that live deserve death. Can you give it to them? Do not be too eager to deal out death & judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends." Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen), "The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring"

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends!" Shakespeare, Henry V, Act 3, scene 1

"taH pagh taHbe'" Translation: "To be, or not to be!" (Hamlet, Act 3, scene 1) ~spoken by Gen. Chang (Christopher Plummer)

The show that mimicked my family

So, I'm watching the show "Married With Children" on a binge, spanning many DVD discs.  At first, I watched and laughed remembering the times my mother, my self, my father, and my brother watched the show together as a family, usually after "the Simpsons".  This was something of a Sunday night family tradition.  And we found ourselves being mimicked on TV in many ways.

I remember all of those times, and how I felt during each of those times even when we strayed away from the Sunday night tradition of watching the two shows together as a family.  My older brother would go on to being employed full time.  My dad filed for divorce, for which the reasons have been a bit unclear, but he admitted later on that he felt he was the reason that his marriage to my mother went all wrong.  Which, by the way, wasn't far off the mark.  My mother, having hated my father for many warranted reasons, was grieving at the failure of the marriage, and was initially spiteful.

All the while, I'm still going to [high] school, going through hell getting harassed every day, and not to mention the numerous doctor visits, in-office procedures, and surgeries I underwent.  The abusiveness from my dad stopped pretty abruptly by the time I got into high school, but it got replaced by many other things including being mistreated elsewhere in my life.  Notably, my older brother.  He naturally felt that I was feigning my medical issues, despite knowing about the many surgeries I went through.

Anyway, I've been on a "Married With Children" sort of marathon binge, and while there have been moments of nostalgia, I have to admit that there are moments I just want to cry hard.  I came to realize that the show itself is so accurate how my family and I interacted with each other, it accurately depicted how my dad felt about marriage, children, and spousal pregnancy.  It was extremely accurate of how my mother felt, and I can kind of agree that my brother was a lot like Bud Bundy, while I was "Kelly" without the numerous dates, and feeling just a little bit stupid from time to time during the series' initial run on broadcast TV.

I have also come to the conclusion that the show plays on stereotypes.  The harassing of nerds, people with disabilities, misogyny, misandrist attitudes, and many other toxic elements.  And I found myself crying at the moment of an otherwise funny quip.  I started to feel like maybe the show, while damned funny, was bringing up old, dusty, and quite infected wounds that I had thought the decades since have healed.  

I was wrong.

I'll still watch the series, and keep the DVD box set, but I can't help but feel as though perhaps I am being reminded of old feelings, old memories, maybe that is why I am nearly always anxious.  Like, how on at least one day a week, we actually were a fucking family.  Like how we found two shows that we could all identify with to some extent.  Like for that one night a week, we weren't trying to kill each other, scream and yell at one another, etc.

I think that's why I both love and loathe the series.  It's way too accurate.  Hits way too close to home.  Sometimes, I find that I can no longer laugh when I realize just how close the show depicted my family members, almost to a "T".  It was one of those abrupt and halting realizations, the epiphany that if the show was that accurate for showing us who we really were, how many other families had been like that in America, and only put on that "we are the epitome of a perfect family" smug look for a show to others, i.e. in a restaurant or a movie theater outing, or really any social gathering where family attendance was mandatory?

I came to realize that I hated being with my family for many of the wrong reasons.  One of which was the constant bickering and fighting, and another reason was that instead of earning each other's respect, like the show, we often heckled each other, and we often said very unkind things to each other.  It's a wonder we even survived each other.  Anyway, it just had me bawling the other night, wishing we weren't "a Bundy family".  In fact, before watching "Married ... with Children!", we often watched "Family Matters", "Growing Pains", and others.  While they were funny, and witty for their time, they just didn't have anything that resembled our family.  And then came along the Bundy family.  And the Simpsons.  

I guess that's what hurts.  Knowing how closely we resembled the two fictional families.  I guess it hurts that unlike "Growing Pains", "Family Matters", or even "Full House", our days almost never ended on a high note.  Not even a serious, but fun note.  There was no chuckle from an audience ending.  No freeze frame closing credits.  Just lots of shouting, yelling, screaming, and just overall not communicating effectively with each other, and me most of all because NO ONE really took responsibility for their actions.  It was always someone else's fault, someone else had dropped the ball, and someone decided that drugs and booze were their solution to the needs of the family as a a whole.

And me?  As a kid, I had this feeling that no one would listen to me, because I was the youngest.  No one ever really respects the youngest sibling, no matter what they accomplish in their life.  So, I never really was allowed to speak up without being told to shut up repeatedly.  And now, my mother wonders why I prefer to stay quiet.  Plus, it doesn't help that I never went through many of the "milestones" a child going into teenager years into adulthood usually passes.  For example, being kissed by a woman, being on an actual date, having sex (not that important to me, as it turns out), or being truly in love with someone.  I think between the show itself, and my family being severely dysfunctional on its own, I was severely unprepared for life at all.  

Sometimes, I wonder how I got through some of the tougher years of my life.  I think to myself, "Damn, man!  I've been through some shit that no one prepared me for!"  I start to think that participating in life, e.g. going to social gatherings, physically going out with friends, etc is just not for me.  Maybe that's because I feel like I don't have much to offer since I'm almost always broke, or maybe because I have only a reliable-ish vehicle, or that I'm just an extreme introvert thanks to my dysfunctional life, my dysfunctional family, and above all my many years wondering why I didn't have the "need" to find the right woman.  

Maybe the show rubbed off on me more than I realize.  I am skeptical when a woman whom I don't already know starts being nice to me, especially when I'm not working.  Not to sound like "that guy", but I was always just a little bit skeptical of that one young lady in the pharmacy who kept being a bit flirty with me that she might, in fact, was just being polite.

Sadly, my skepticism won out when it was revealed to me that she had someone else.  And then I watch the show, and I immediately see my dad in Al Bundy when concerned with women.  Always suspicious of women who get just a bit too close for comfort.  Always waiting for the anvil to drop on the head when realizing that someone got the last laugh, and it was not me.

Maybe I'm just rambling.  It just hit me so hard the other night watching MWC, and maybe it's because we're coming up on that time of year that is the hardest for my family and myself.  Christmas.  I hate this time of year when it's getting cooler during the daylight hours, colder at night.  My mother persistently tries to decorate, and I'm just not about it.  And the more I watch MWC, the less I feel comfortable with helping along the decorations.  

I feel angry enough that the show we loved is now a hurtful reminder of how awful we were to each other, but man when it came to showing off to others, we had that "Yeah, we're cordial with each other.... for now!"

Maybe I'm just getting older, and that I've been through more shit than anyone can ever hope to realize.  

*sigh* I just don't know if I want to complete my marathon viewing of MWC anymore given that it brings up very old wounds.

/rant off

The JRK response to calls for a Star Trek boycott!

When they announced the new fan film guidelines, it seemed like it was their "line in the sand" that had been drawn ("The line must be drawn HERE!  This far, NO FURTHER!"), and it was pretty clear, at least to me, that CBS & Paramount were not open to fans’ suggestions on what could be changed or modified in the future.  In essence, they want no competition of any kind even if it is friendly competition of quality content, no negotiation of fan film guidelines terms, and perhaps more importantly no room for motivating fans to make content that honors the legacy that Gene Roddenberry left with Star Trek.  They really went all out to publicly punish Alec Peters for daring to go where no fan has gone before in pissing them off royally. 

Though, it is their IP, and they can establish whatever guidelines they wish, I get it.  That does not mean I agree with those guidelines on any level necessarily.  I might understand why on some level, but to say I absolutely and totally disagree would be an overstatement.  Some of the guidelines were actually pretty reasonable, but I can understand why CBS and Paramount would be so limiting.  The runtime limitation requirements, the use of Hollywood grade actors, and fundraising limits as well as paying the people involved for their work and time are the only items I found myself disagreeing on in principle.  The rest I can somewhat agree that they are necessary to protect their respective intellectual property.

That being said, I cannot in good conscience participate in a boycott of Star Trek of any kind.  Star Trek is my main nerd love.  I've loved it longer than some of the newer "JJ Abrams Star Trek"-bred fans, and I have always loved Star Trek through thick, through thin, and all in between.  I can't just abandon Star Trek on the drop of a hat because I fundamentally disagree with much of the guidelines.  Besides, any Trek is better than no Trek at all.

I don't disagree that the guidelines are going to hurt fan made content projects in the future, and I do not disagree on principle that they're totally designed to bury any bit of competitor even on a friendly level.  Paramount and CBS are in the business of making money, and in a mostly capitalist-driven world, bringing in revenue for profit is "paramount".  Pun intended.  Without profit, not unlike the greedy Ferengi, the two respective Star Trek IP holders cannot produce new Star Trek films, shows, products like the licensed cosplay merchandise, or licensed memorabilia that some of us have come to enjoy. 

Without revenue being brought in, Star Trek would be no more.  Star Trek just wouldn't be.  Whatever form we get our Star Trek, it may not be exactly what everyone wants, but what is?  Do we really expect CBS and Paramount to stand by while fans, even with their best of intentions, butchers their IP?  Don't get me wrong.  Some of the fan made content is excellent, but some of it is pretty sour, and if a new fan is turned off from that sour content, it may turn them off completely to any Star Trek content on TV and in film.  That means losing revenue, losing profit, and essentially losing fans due to lack of interest in what I believe to be the greatest cultural phenomenon in the past half century that it has been around.  Of course, losing revenue and fan interest means no more Star Trek.  Is that what we really want?

I like what many pages on Facebook have suggested.  Contact CBS and Paramount through proper channels and express how fan made films, with their support whether financial or otherwise, can only help the brand.  Be sincere, be polite, but most of all be diplomatic or tactful.  The last thing fans should be doing is expressing major disinterest or even a boycott over a disagreement of how CBS and Paramount are limiting fan projects.  We want to keep Star Trek going for another 50 years and beyond, and continue to work towards building our society towards Gene's vision, but we can't do that if every "Dick & Harry" fan suddenly wants to boycott the brand because of every major bump in the road that comes along that cramps our style of what Star Trek should be.

Until we are not like the Ferengi in Star Trek, not driven by capitalist wants in material things, CBS and Paramount will still want to make money, but to do that, the fans in all of us should be supportive of their endeavors, make appropriate suggestions when possible, express what could be done differently with the TV and film content when appropriate and possible, and overall support our nerd love at all times possible, because when they do pull the plug over whatever disinterest or boycotts are in place, we’ll miss it a lot more than we do now.

I, for one, want to see more “utopian” Federations in Star Trek, not less.  But that’s what I want.  I know it’s not what everyone wants.  And that’s okay.  Although Captain/Admiral Janeway (Kate Mulgrew) found a way to have her cake and eat it too with defeating the Borg and getting her crew home, we should be thankful we’re getting one or the other.  I prefer to eat cake, but that’s just me!  I prefer to enjoy it while it’s there and appreciate the feelings it brings in me!  I have the same feelings about having my science fiction, and in particular, having my Star Trek be a sounding board for philosophical, ethical/moral, and metaphysical discussions.  Stories that make us all wonder, ponder, and question the things that are, and hope for what could be possible.

I implore fans to rethink any boycott.  Instead, use your power of diplomacy, of reason to persuade CBS & Paramount to reconsider their fan film / content guidelines.  Let's use Star Trek for what it was meant to be, a moral compass to point to when we disagree with something important.

Those are my thoughts on the newly formed guidelines.  I truly believe that if Gene Roddenberry were still alive, he'd be disappointed not just with CBS and Paramount, but with the fans as well.  Some fans are acting like Star Trek IP holders owe us something for our trouble, but in fact we owe them for still making any Star Trek possible in the first place.  It seems like it's a sure paradox.  Star Trek wouldn't be around if it hadn't been for the fans' power in large numbers, but fans would not have Star Trek if the IP holders simply moved on to greener and better pastures.  They could easily do that, and then no more Star Trek at all.

If you're truly a fan, ask yourself "Do we want to have no more Star Trek?"  If you are like me, and you like all things Star Trek, you'll not participate in any sanctioned boycott.

Sincerely,

~ Jeffrey R. Kuntzelman 2016

Concerned Star Trek fan