What would you do if you won some money?

From the desk of Jeffrey R. Kuntzelman 2018

Caption: Fill in the blank: "If I won the lottery, one of the first things I would do is ______!"

Though I've posted before what I would do with any large or sizable winnings from any lotto or Powerball game, I will reiterate once more for posterity.

So, here it goes:

Phase One:

First, I assume that the amount of mu winnings will be at least in the 3-digit number followed by six zeros (0's), or higher.

Also, assuming the IRS will take their arbitrary 49 or 50% (probably 60% depending on if they-who-shall-not-be-named has their way), the remainder of it would be spent in various ways.

The first 25% of my remaining winnings will go to a charity or charities that deal with, and help in all ways possible, the men, women, and/or children who have been afflicted with either blindness or a vision impairment in one or both eyes like yours truly. 

I feel it should be my first charitable act to make sure someone who has such problems like myself be helped or at least be given some preference in areas where someone with such impairments may be overlooked due to one of a variety of reasons.

Phase Two:

The second 25% of my remaining winnings will be given to various other organizations with a highly positive reputable history of being "non-profit".  This means at least for every dollar given, I want that organization to use 70 to 90% of each dollar to help those in crisis or in emergency need of assistance.  Things such as blankets, clean clothing, a place to stay where their basic needs such as bathing, hygienic needs, as well as personal care are met.  Example: Being given an electric blanket to use at a decent motel or other emergency shelter where a power outlet can be used for that blanket for the men, women, children, etc may use them especially during the winter months.

There should never be an excuse to withhold such things, using the claim "it's not essential" is a cop-out in my opinion.  You want to help?  You do it right. 

Another 20% to be donated to research organizations for various vision impairment, disease, & mental health issues.  Again, I want the organizations doing research to be totally independent & nonprofit.  Meaning AT LEAST 80% of every dollar donated is spent actually researching effective cures, treatments, surgery techniques, and creative solutions on those health & mental health problems that are ravaging our nation, our world.  There should be no reason someone should have to suffer because it isn't "profitable" for some "Big Pharmaceutical" or "Big Insurance" to ration out their services & products because they can commit legal extortion of the medical & health insurance policyholders, i.e. the average person who WILL need healthcare at some point in their lives.  I don't care how healthy someone is, life happens, and it can suck even more when insurance screws you over, plus big pharma is using you as their proverbial Guinea pig.

Phase Three:

The remaining 30 percent of my remaining winnings will be split up into two.  15% should be enough to clear up most of my medical bills, clean up my credit history, maybe even be able to put together a sizable down payment on a decent house.  Nothing big, just a single story 5 bed, 2.5 bath, maybe with a basement for a music room.  Nothing fancy.

And maybe enough left over for a brand new, self-driving capable vehicle for the days when I don't want to drive, but want to get out to enjoy the day for a while.  Or when the weather is not so great, and I don't want to stay cooped up indoors with nothing to do but either watch a bunch of movies, play a few games, or watch a bunch of TV.  Alone.  With virtually no one with me to share those nights with when I could use someone to talk to.

That's how I would do it.  And yes, I did put some thought into this.  Depending on how much is left between all of that, I would very much like to set up a trust fund for my late cousin's two beautiful daughters, Morgan & Bailey.  Something like when they reach the age of 35, and have successfully NOT had children of their own before then, then they would be eligible for the trust fund to be released to them.  After that, I wish them the best of luck in their future lives.  If they want to have babies or adopt, or whatever, that would be their business.  What I don't want is for them to believe, in error, that having a bunch of babies is how they can get a bunch of attention for a little while, until their kids get to certain age where the attention fades.  I want to see them become strong, independently successful young women first.  Regardless of how they achieve that success. 

But yeah, that's how I would do it.  And each time I think about this, I think to myself how much I'm trying to NOT focus on myself. 

My mother, when I got some money as the result of working on a survey focus group online, said something that kind of irked me at the time, and when asked, I couldn't explain why the money I was spending for myself wasn't being donated.

After thinking about it in-depth, here would be my response to her if I could relive that moment:

"Mom, the reason I spend this money on me is because earned it through doing work for something that I was being asked to do that cut into my free time.  Like a job.  And what little extra I get as the result of that "work", I should be able to indulge on me for a little bit.  

Every now and then, when I've had even a full extra dollar or two to spare, I was always giving it to those Ronald McDonald Children's charities boxes at the McDonald's restaurants.  And the occasional text donation to the Red Cross, despite their reputation for only spending pennies on the dollar to provide emergency assistance & resources for displaced disaster victims.

Now, on the other hand, if I had WON that money as a prize due to Powerball or a Lotto winnings, that's different.  That's money that everyday people from nearly every walk of life has bought into on the chance they can win it big.  Or let's say I won money on a game show like the ones you tell me I should audition for.  Winning a large amount of money is different than to earn it.  In that regard, I should share my winnings with the people who need it more than myself.  People who sometimes need more than just a sympathetic pat on the back, and an empathetic "I'm sorry about the situation you're in, but we don't have the money to help."  I don't want to hear that again from people who truly have a crisis, or are in need of something that can really make an impact on their lives, maybe even their health. 

My contribution of a $100, or even $500, is only a drop in the bucket if I just give it away to just any organization that claims to be "nonprofit".  If I'm going to do that with money I earned, and I learn that only anywhere between 10 to 30% of every dollar donated is the limit of the nonprofit charity's "generosity" in helping their beneficiaries versus the people who are overseeing the operations that get a bigger cut of that dollar makes it hard to want to donate my earned money.  It would feel as though I wasted what I thought was a kind gesture, but turns out to be virtually useless in a sense.

However, when winning money, the first mistake of any selfish person is to fulfill their every indulgence.  Buy things that they can never afford otherwise, loan money to family, or maybe take a bunch of trips & vacations feeling they've "earned" them from winning their money.

When I win a large sum of money, be it $10M, $20M, or even $100M, I want it to be going to people who deserve it more than I do.  Sure, it'd be nice to indulge in some fun things, but then I'd feel like I should be doing something productive with my winnings.  Something that benefits others in a way that I never could by donating $50-$200. 

That's how I think about it, anyway.  Make my stroke of good fortune be for everyone's benefit instead of for my own personal benefit exclusively."

Sorry for the long rant, but that's how I would do it.

So, what do you think?  I know some people are asked daily to donate their hard earned money, in some cases, their extra earned money, to donate it & their given the "Giving is the gift of its own reward when you open your hearts (and your wallets) to those in need!" applauded speech, which sounds great, but if every dollar counts on a low-income budget, giving even $5 to an organization that only uses about 20 cents on the dollar to actually help someone, and only if they meet "criteria", and the criterion is based solely on how well they'll be getting a "return on investment" or ROI, that $5 would have been better spent being given to a homeless man on a street corner who just wants a good, hot meal for the night.

That's how I look at it.  Thoughts?  Comments?  Compliments?  Jokes (in good taste)?  Different ideas?  What would you do when you come into a large sum of unexpected cash that was the result of a lottery or Powerball, or maybe winning in Las Vegas, NV, Reno, NV, Atlantic City, or any other place where gambling money pays out winnings, when they winner is a photogenic one for their commercial advertisements.

The dreaded "C Word"!

We all know that some words you just don't use.  You don't say them, regardless of how angry you are, or how much someone deserves it.

I'm not going to spell out those words, because we all know what words they are, and that we know for certain never to use them in public, or at least no where outside our homes.  Needless to say, I can tolerate a lot of things.  I can handle cursing, swearing, cussing, profanities, obscenities, etc.  I can even handle off-color jokes regardless of who say it.  Hell, I keep a copy of Chris Rock's "Rollin' With The New", and it's damned funny!

I can handle a lot of shit, a lot of vulgarity, and a lot of fucked up shit.  I've watched all things Seth MacFarlane & his sis Rachael MacFarlane.  Everything from Family Guy, to American Dad!, the Cleveland Show, A Million Ways To Die In The West, Ted & Ted 2, the Family Guy Star Wars spoofs, his dvd "Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy", plus his Family Guy album laced with A LOT of really raunchy stuff.

That all being said, there are words that just shouldn't be allowed to be uttered in civilized society.  I'm all for free speech, but maybe there ought to be some limitations.  Hate speech that provokes or incites violence including violent crime should be without question a "No-no!"

The N word is a HUGE "No-no" for folks of any kind.  It shouldn't be used by caucasians, & if African Americans want white folks to stop using it, maybe we should start by setting the example by, oh I don't know, NOT USING IT IN ANY CAPACITY!

The same goes for the dreaded "C word".  Just so we're clear, the word is one that describes a woman's body part in a vulgar way, almost making it sound like it has filthy connotations.  It's a word I choose never to use, not even when in the heat of anger, or even as a joke.  It's just so not appropriate for anyone, anywhere to use.  And even worse is when women use it on other women.

Because I have a high respect for women in my life, I won't ever use the C word ever no matter how angry I am with a woman, or even if she deserves it!  I have a very well mannered level of respect for women, epecially those in my life such as my mother, my late cousin & her surviving two beautiful daughters, my other female cousins, female friends, teachers & instructors including one in particular (Mrs. Liebengood) from my 6th Grade school year @ College Park Elementary School in Costa Mesa, California (under the Newport-Mesa Unifed School District), and during that same time period another young Hispanic lady who helped me cope with the bullying & my other life problems at the time.  Without any of those women in my life, I may not be here today. 

But that's not the only reason I hate, despise, abhor, detest, highly dislike, have a high distaste for, and above all think is inappropriate on all levels to use the C word!  I have a personal experience with the word, and how I came to realize what it meant, and also why since a certain incident that I'll never ever forget, I'll never use it, and I hate it when people use the word either as an insult or as a joke, or both.

First, some background.  If you haven't realized it yet, my full name is Jeffrey R. Kuntzelman.  Before we go any further, I want to empathize the fact that the C word being inappropriate has a lot to do with my given family name.  To set the tone for the following recollection of true events told from my perspective, we need to take a trip to Colorado Springs, Colorado in 1993.

I don't remember exactly when this incident happened, but it was right before my immediate family members & myself (my mother, my father, & my older brother) were going to move out of Colorado.  In my mind, we were heading back to Southern California, and then I had it in my mind to reconnect with that young Hispanic lady friend, because I really needed a good friend at that time, and writing to her just wasn't doing it for me.

But that's a story for another time.  The incident about my learning the C word, and how it related to my family surname is what's important here.  Off and on, my mom & dad would help out my dad's family, i.e. his brothers (my uncles), his dad (my grandfather), etc.  The fact that much of the people we lived with & lived near all had (to some extent) a mutual last name, Kuntzelman.  Here's where things get ugly.

I don't know the details, who did what, or who slept with who.  At the time, me being 14yrs old, I couldn't give a fuck less about any of that.  I was aware of some animosity between two of my dad's brothers involving ONE aunt, who at the time still shared our family name by marriage.

One afternoon, after getting home from my day at Sabin Junior High School (now "Sabin Middle School"), I was about to be scolded for a bad report card (I had been failing some of my classes, but I later passed barely, but again it's a tale for another time), when my dad wanted to check the message machine.  Remember, kids!  We didn't always have built-in voicemail for our home telephone service from our telephone service providers.  We had to use automatic recording devices with audio cassette tapes.  It was a real struggle in those days, especially if someone inadvertently erased messages.

Bottom line, one of my dad's side uncles (We'll call him "Robert") decided in his infinite stupid wisdom to leave one of the nastiest voice messages I'd ever hear in my life.  Something about the ONE aunt who seemed to be sleeping with both of my (late) dad's brothers, between "Robert" & "Ron". 

(Again, I refuse to say the C word, much less spell it out, but WILL blank out the necessary letters!)

"And you can tell that fucking c*** to fuck off!  That fucking c*** is nothing but a fucking cheater, and that "Robert" guy is a c*** too for sleeping with that c***!"

Soon after, we left Colorado Springs, Colorado hoping to leave behind Robert & Ron along with that one aunt whom we'll call "Josie" to work their white trash shit out.

At the time, I had no idea what my vulgar uncle meant at the time calling both aunt Josie & the other uncle a c***.  I thought he was just using part of our given family name as a shortened version.  It wasn't until I got into Bonanza High School in Las Vegas, NV to realize what that uncle really meant.  And immediately, I was disgusted, dismayed, and above all ashamed of my uncles using such filthy vulgar language.

From then on, and ever since, I have refused to use this word, the C word, ever.  I don't care how mad I am, or how funny the joke would be with it, I won't ever use it.  And the people who do use it in my presence is ear splittingly bad.  Nails on a chalkboard would be better than listening to some asshat, assclown, or some dumbass use it as a joke punchline or as an insult. 

I've even ended a long time friendship with a certain friend from high school since he couldn't stop using it even after I've repeatedly asked him to not use the C word to describe his ex-girlfriends, or his ex-wife.  Or using it on any woman at all.

So, when Samantha Bee on Full Frontal w/ Samantha Bee used it, I was disgusted.  Normally, she is fun, funny, entertaining, etc.  But the moment she used that word, she lost some of my respect.

It's bad enough that I've had to fight with companies like AOL, Microsoft (Hotmail / Windows Live), and even Comcast/Xfinity who have at some point or another told me that my family name, my legal surname, is a dirty word because of the 1sf four letters "K-U-N-T".  It was even worse for my female cousins who shared our family name.  They've had to use their mother's maiden names to get by in school.

So, when someone says the "C word" is no big deal, it is for me.  It should've been for certain family relatives back in 1993.  It should ALWAYS be a big deal to NOT use that word in the presence of children of any age.