Not all blind men!

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bby475/aita_for_getting_a_blind_student_kicked_out_of/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

I haven't seen or heard the details of the incident in question, but I do know this much from what I have inferred from the comments. 

First, not all blind men are like this.  Because more than 50% of my cousins are female whom I was fairly close to growing up & were the closest I had to sisters in my life, & especially two of which are daughters to one of those female cousins (May she RIP) whom I ❤ dearly, I don't dare do even half the shit that many of my male friends may have done prior to when I met my late cousin's two beautiful daughters who are now the lights of my life. 

So, I fully believe that someone's upbringing & their relationships with people both within their family clan, & with their female friends (if any), can heavily influence someone's behavior & mannerisms.  There are plenty of disturbed men out there who aren't blind and are still assholes, but when someone uses their disability to such a sinister advantage, it's not only uncool & creepy, it's either borderline straddling the legal limit, or downright against the law, full stop!

Secondly, all that being said, I would say that, since meeting my late cousin's two daughters, & having them in my life as a reminder that some things in life are worth fighting for, worth living for, that I've become concerned when I hear of stuff like this.  I am concerned for the women in my life including my remaining living female cousins both 1st & 2nd generations, my aunts, my (unrelated) niece, my mom even (that's a given), but especially those two lovely young ladies who have given me a most treasured nickname that I'm more than honored to have bestowed upon me. 

It would not bode well if I found out someone, regardless whether they have a legitimate disability, especially being vision-impaired or having partial or full blindness was taking advantage of any of the women in my life, i.e. family members/relatives and/or friends of mine, & were uncool to any of them!  It wouldn't bode well for that sumbitch idiot who abused their status as "disabled" to harass the women in my life, or worse. 

Unfortunately, the laws regarding "stalking" are not as strong as they should be.  Perhaps if male lawmakers were the victims of female stalkers, the laws would be changed to such a degree that it would end up a federal level felony if convicted.  The other unfortunate thing is that, knowing how male lawmakers think, if they did become victims of female stalkers, laws would be quite specific in singling out WOMEN stalkers.  Yes, that's right.  The men in Congress would conveniently not make a gender neutral law regarding creepy people.  Let's face it!  Congress, & to be more specific, republican men in Congress (both House & Senate) would make sure they are allowed to be fully creepy & disturbing, while making it clear they're not going to protect women, and would even go as far as to PROTECT the sinister men who creep out women to the max. 

Anything bad that happens to women especially when it's regarding a man who has done some fucked up shit are, in the minds of Republican men, the fault of women. 

Example:

Women: "I was raped!"

Republicans: "It's your fault.  You must have done something to provoke him!"

Women: "I was at home!"

Republicans: "You must've invited him!"

Women: "He was an intruder!"

Republicans: "He says you invited him.  That's good enough for me to protect an essentially innocent man against the word of a woman!"

Also:

Women: "This weirdo keeps calling me, heavy breathing into the phone, then hangs up!"

Republicans: "You must've given him your number!"

Women: "It's an unlisted phone line!"

Republicans: "But the phone company has your phone number.  Therefore, he must've gotten your number.  That means he's innocent!"

And.... :

Women: "My (ex)husband hit me repeatedly, and sexually assaulted our daughter!"

Republicans: "You must've provoked him, otherwise he wouldn't have had to defend himself!"

Women: "I was making him dinner!".

Republicans: "So, you were going to poison him!  All the more reason to protect him!"

Women: "He was dumbfucking drunk!"

Republicans: "So, he had one beer.  That doesn't make him violent, or a sex offender!"

Women: "But he RAPED our 12yr old daughter!"

Republicans: "She was probably dressed provocatively!"

Women: "TWELVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER!"

Republicans: "But you both are his property.  You're supposed to do anything he says or does.  It's in the Bible.  Read your bible!"

Women: "HE HIT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH THE SCALDING HOT PAN I WAS COOKING HIS DINNER WITH, AND HE HAS REPEATEDLY SEXUALLY ASSAULTED OUR FUCKING DAUGHTER!"

Republicans: "So, what you're saying is that you were going to poison your (ex)husband, & that your daughter was being sexually promiscuous with him!"

Women: "That's not at all what I said, and you fucking know it!"

Republicans: "All I hear is that an innocent man was going to be poisoned, and that his daughter wanted to have sex with your husband!"

That!  That's that bullshit with Republicans.  They'll dismiss everything a woman says to protect their potential Republican voter & possible campaign donor.

I digress, I'm getting off-topic.  The point is that men who are acting dishonorably & highly inappropriately should be treated as hostile suspects & charged with criminal misconduct & mischief resulting in psychological torment & harassment.  The thing is that unless it happens to male lawmakers, or happening to straight men by obviously disturbed homosexual men, the laws won't change, and women everywhere are at the mercy of police who will follow the law to the letter, meaning they'll conveniently not investigate a stalker who is a borderline sociopath / psychopath that may turn ugly fast if not found, caught by law enforcement, & charged with a felony crime. 

But as for men who have disabilities of any sort who harass people, especially when it's a disabled man being inappropriate with women, it's totally uncool.  And again, it disturbs me when, as a blind man myself, I get labeled as something I'm not because some other idiot took advantage of being "not blind" blind & harassing people, and again especially women!

If you will not ask then you do not know!

When people make stupid ass assumptions about others, especially when they don't ask about something they're curious about, I can't help but wonder if that person is well, an idiot.  I don't enjoy it when others whisper behind my back, or snicker, or decide that I haven't the need for something.  Or the means.  It irks me!  Why does it irk me?  When someone reads something I've posted, then decides to make their own conclusions about what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and more importantly how I'm doing it, then it becomes an issue that's not an issue at all, especially if those same people making their own conclusions don't ask a simple question, "How?"

Example.

A few weeks ago, I posted on my family FB account expressing an interest in an Xbox One or PS4 game that happens to teach players how to play guitar.  How well it works is not the question.  Later on, actually this last week, I get scolded by my mother (while I'm physically a fucking adult, this is her mind at work) that I should be careful what I post on MY page.

The problem is this:  I can't be held liable for what somebody in my family doesn't understand.  Say, like, how I got said game, or whether I had the actual money to buy it.  Or even, how I came to find it in the first place, or rather how I know about it.  My mother claims, as though I care, that she believed it looked as though I said I had bought the game outright, and in her mind this represents that I have money or have disposable cash to pay back a certain family member, despite my attempts at wording things very carefully.  Below is a screen shot of that post.  If anyone can tell me how a family member, according to mom, could infer, without asking me how I got it or how I came across it, how I had it in my possession, or even for how long.  My response could have been, "I got it from the library!", but no!  According to mom, anyone can make a stupid ass assumption, but don't actually know shit!

I don't know why anytime my mother says shit like this, I get irked!  It's like a fucking time bomb in my head (metaphorically speaking) that blows up like tonight when the thought occurred.  Specifically the thought, "Why am I responsible for what others don't understand, never ask about, or inquire why I'm interested!  It's not as though people talk to me much anymore!"

*SIGH*

I hate it when she does stupid shit like that to me, and all in the attempt to limit what I post, as though I give a fuck what someone in my family thinks they know about me.  It's not like we speak to each other on a regular basis, or even infrequently.  Not unless "His Majesty" has a problem with his fucking computer, and honestly, I don't even know why I help him.  Maybe because I think he might return the favor someday, or maybe because I'm just a good family member.  Or maybe, because of how awful & terrible they treated me in the past, I know how much of a narcissist they are, and that that won't remember it anyway.  

Still, mom irks me.  To death, I might add.  Why the fuck I listen to her anymore, I don't know.

~JRK 2018

The dreaded "C Word"!

We all know that some words you just don't use.  You don't say them, regardless of how angry you are, or how much someone deserves it.

I'm not going to spell out those words, because we all know what words they are, and that we know for certain never to use them in public, or at least no where outside our homes.  Needless to say, I can tolerate a lot of things.  I can handle cursing, swearing, cussing, profanities, obscenities, etc.  I can even handle off-color jokes regardless of who say it.  Hell, I keep a copy of Chris Rock's "Rollin' With The New", and it's damned funny!

I can handle a lot of shit, a lot of vulgarity, and a lot of fucked up shit.  I've watched all things Seth MacFarlane & his sis Rachael MacFarlane.  Everything from Family Guy, to American Dad!, the Cleveland Show, A Million Ways To Die In The West, Ted & Ted 2, the Family Guy Star Wars spoofs, his dvd "Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy", plus his Family Guy album laced with A LOT of really raunchy stuff.

That all being said, there are words that just shouldn't be allowed to be uttered in civilized society.  I'm all for free speech, but maybe there ought to be some limitations.  Hate speech that provokes or incites violence including violent crime should be without question a "No-no!"

The N word is a HUGE "No-no" for folks of any kind.  It shouldn't be used by caucasians, & if African Americans want white folks to stop using it, maybe we should start by setting the example by, oh I don't know, NOT USING IT IN ANY CAPACITY!

The same goes for the dreaded "C word".  Just so we're clear, the word is one that describes a woman's body part in a vulgar way, almost making it sound like it has filthy connotations.  It's a word I choose never to use, not even when in the heat of anger, or even as a joke.  It's just so not appropriate for anyone, anywhere to use.  And even worse is when women use it on other women.

Because I have a high respect for women in my life, I won't ever use the C word ever no matter how angry I am with a woman, or even if she deserves it!  I have a very well mannered level of respect for women, epecially those in my life such as my mother, my late cousin & her surviving two beautiful daughters, my other female cousins, female friends, teachers & instructors including one in particular (Mrs. Liebengood) from my 6th Grade school year @ College Park Elementary School in Costa Mesa, California (under the Newport-Mesa Unifed School District), and during that same time period another young Hispanic lady who helped me cope with the bullying & my other life problems at the time.  Without any of those women in my life, I may not be here today. 

But that's not the only reason I hate, despise, abhor, detest, highly dislike, have a high distaste for, and above all think is inappropriate on all levels to use the C word!  I have a personal experience with the word, and how I came to realize what it meant, and also why since a certain incident that I'll never ever forget, I'll never use it, and I hate it when people use the word either as an insult or as a joke, or both.

First, some background.  If you haven't realized it yet, my full name is Jeffrey R. Kuntzelman.  Before we go any further, I want to empathize the fact that the C word being inappropriate has a lot to do with my given family name.  To set the tone for the following recollection of true events told from my perspective, we need to take a trip to Colorado Springs, Colorado in 1993.

I don't remember exactly when this incident happened, but it was right before my immediate family members & myself (my mother, my father, & my older brother) were going to move out of Colorado.  In my mind, we were heading back to Southern California, and then I had it in my mind to reconnect with that young Hispanic lady friend, because I really needed a good friend at that time, and writing to her just wasn't doing it for me.

But that's a story for another time.  The incident about my learning the C word, and how it related to my family surname is what's important here.  Off and on, my mom & dad would help out my dad's family, i.e. his brothers (my uncles), his dad (my grandfather), etc.  The fact that much of the people we lived with & lived near all had (to some extent) a mutual last name, Kuntzelman.  Here's where things get ugly.

I don't know the details, who did what, or who slept with who.  At the time, me being 14yrs old, I couldn't give a fuck less about any of that.  I was aware of some animosity between two of my dad's brothers involving ONE aunt, who at the time still shared our family name by marriage.

One afternoon, after getting home from my day at Sabin Junior High School (now "Sabin Middle School"), I was about to be scolded for a bad report card (I had been failing some of my classes, but I later passed barely, but again it's a tale for another time), when my dad wanted to check the message machine.  Remember, kids!  We didn't always have built-in voicemail for our home telephone service from our telephone service providers.  We had to use automatic recording devices with audio cassette tapes.  It was a real struggle in those days, especially if someone inadvertently erased messages.

Bottom line, one of my dad's side uncles (We'll call him "Robert") decided in his infinite stupid wisdom to leave one of the nastiest voice messages I'd ever hear in my life.  Something about the ONE aunt who seemed to be sleeping with both of my (late) dad's brothers, between "Robert" & "Ron". 

(Again, I refuse to say the C word, much less spell it out, but WILL blank out the necessary letters!)

"And you can tell that fucking c*** to fuck off!  That fucking c*** is nothing but a fucking cheater, and that "Robert" guy is a c*** too for sleeping with that c***!"

Soon after, we left Colorado Springs, Colorado hoping to leave behind Robert & Ron along with that one aunt whom we'll call "Josie" to work their white trash shit out.

At the time, I had no idea what my vulgar uncle meant at the time calling both aunt Josie & the other uncle a c***.  I thought he was just using part of our given family name as a shortened version.  It wasn't until I got into Bonanza High School in Las Vegas, NV to realize what that uncle really meant.  And immediately, I was disgusted, dismayed, and above all ashamed of my uncles using such filthy vulgar language.

From then on, and ever since, I have refused to use this word, the C word, ever.  I don't care how mad I am, or how funny the joke would be with it, I won't ever use it.  And the people who do use it in my presence is ear splittingly bad.  Nails on a chalkboard would be better than listening to some asshat, assclown, or some dumbass use it as a joke punchline or as an insult. 

I've even ended a long time friendship with a certain friend from high school since he couldn't stop using it even after I've repeatedly asked him to not use the C word to describe his ex-girlfriends, or his ex-wife.  Or using it on any woman at all.

So, when Samantha Bee on Full Frontal w/ Samantha Bee used it, I was disgusted.  Normally, she is fun, funny, entertaining, etc.  But the moment she used that word, she lost some of my respect.

It's bad enough that I've had to fight with companies like AOL, Microsoft (Hotmail / Windows Live), and even Comcast/Xfinity who have at some point or another told me that my family name, my legal surname, is a dirty word because of the 1sf four letters "K-U-N-T".  It was even worse for my female cousins who shared our family name.  They've had to use their mother's maiden names to get by in school.

So, when someone says the "C word" is no big deal, it is for me.  It should've been for certain family relatives back in 1993.  It should ALWAYS be a big deal to NOT use that word in the presence of children of any age.