The dreaded "C Word"!

We all know that some words you just don't use.  You don't say them, regardless of how angry you are, or how much someone deserves it.

I'm not going to spell out those words, because we all know what words they are, and that we know for certain never to use them in public, or at least no where outside our homes.  Needless to say, I can tolerate a lot of things.  I can handle cursing, swearing, cussing, profanities, obscenities, etc.  I can even handle off-color jokes regardless of who say it.  Hell, I keep a copy of Chris Rock's "Rollin' With The New", and it's damned funny!

I can handle a lot of shit, a lot of vulgarity, and a lot of fucked up shit.  I've watched all things Seth MacFarlane & his sis Rachael MacFarlane.  Everything from Family Guy, to American Dad!, the Cleveland Show, A Million Ways To Die In The West, Ted & Ted 2, the Family Guy Star Wars spoofs, his dvd "Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy", plus his Family Guy album laced with A LOT of really raunchy stuff.

That all being said, there are words that just shouldn't be allowed to be uttered in civilized society.  I'm all for free speech, but maybe there ought to be some limitations.  Hate speech that provokes or incites violence including violent crime should be without question a "No-no!"

The N word is a HUGE "No-no" for folks of any kind.  It shouldn't be used by caucasians, & if African Americans want white folks to stop using it, maybe we should start by setting the example by, oh I don't know, NOT USING IT IN ANY CAPACITY!

The same goes for the dreaded "C word".  Just so we're clear, the word is one that describes a woman's body part in a vulgar way, almost making it sound like it has filthy connotations.  It's a word I choose never to use, not even when in the heat of anger, or even as a joke.  It's just so not appropriate for anyone, anywhere to use.  And even worse is when women use it on other women.

Because I have a high respect for women in my life, I won't ever use the C word ever no matter how angry I am with a woman, or even if she deserves it!  I have a very well mannered level of respect for women, epecially those in my life such as my mother, my late cousin & her surviving two beautiful daughters, my other female cousins, female friends, teachers & instructors including one in particular (Mrs. Liebengood) from my 6th Grade school year @ College Park Elementary School in Costa Mesa, California (under the Newport-Mesa Unifed School District), and during that same time period another young Hispanic lady who helped me cope with the bullying & my other life problems at the time.  Without any of those women in my life, I may not be here today. 

But that's not the only reason I hate, despise, abhor, detest, highly dislike, have a high distaste for, and above all think is inappropriate on all levels to use the C word!  I have a personal experience with the word, and how I came to realize what it meant, and also why since a certain incident that I'll never ever forget, I'll never use it, and I hate it when people use the word either as an insult or as a joke, or both.

First, some background.  If you haven't realized it yet, my full name is Jeffrey R. Kuntzelman.  Before we go any further, I want to empathize the fact that the C word being inappropriate has a lot to do with my given family name.  To set the tone for the following recollection of true events told from my perspective, we need to take a trip to Colorado Springs, Colorado in 1993.

I don't remember exactly when this incident happened, but it was right before my immediate family members & myself (my mother, my father, & my older brother) were going to move out of Colorado.  In my mind, we were heading back to Southern California, and then I had it in my mind to reconnect with that young Hispanic lady friend, because I really needed a good friend at that time, and writing to her just wasn't doing it for me.

But that's a story for another time.  The incident about my learning the C word, and how it related to my family surname is what's important here.  Off and on, my mom & dad would help out my dad's family, i.e. his brothers (my uncles), his dad (my grandfather), etc.  The fact that much of the people we lived with & lived near all had (to some extent) a mutual last name, Kuntzelman.  Here's where things get ugly.

I don't know the details, who did what, or who slept with who.  At the time, me being 14yrs old, I couldn't give a fuck less about any of that.  I was aware of some animosity between two of my dad's brothers involving ONE aunt, who at the time still shared our family name by marriage.

One afternoon, after getting home from my day at Sabin Junior High School (now "Sabin Middle School"), I was about to be scolded for a bad report card (I had been failing some of my classes, but I later passed barely, but again it's a tale for another time), when my dad wanted to check the message machine.  Remember, kids!  We didn't always have built-in voicemail for our home telephone service from our telephone service providers.  We had to use automatic recording devices with audio cassette tapes.  It was a real struggle in those days, especially if someone inadvertently erased messages.

Bottom line, one of my dad's side uncles (We'll call him "Robert") decided in his infinite stupid wisdom to leave one of the nastiest voice messages I'd ever hear in my life.  Something about the ONE aunt who seemed to be sleeping with both of my (late) dad's brothers, between "Robert" & "Ron". 

(Again, I refuse to say the C word, much less spell it out, but WILL blank out the necessary letters!)

"And you can tell that fucking c*** to fuck off!  That fucking c*** is nothing but a fucking cheater, and that "Robert" guy is a c*** too for sleeping with that c***!"

Soon after, we left Colorado Springs, Colorado hoping to leave behind Robert & Ron along with that one aunt whom we'll call "Josie" to work their white trash shit out.

At the time, I had no idea what my vulgar uncle meant at the time calling both aunt Josie & the other uncle a c***.  I thought he was just using part of our given family name as a shortened version.  It wasn't until I got into Bonanza High School in Las Vegas, NV to realize what that uncle really meant.  And immediately, I was disgusted, dismayed, and above all ashamed of my uncles using such filthy vulgar language.

From then on, and ever since, I have refused to use this word, the C word, ever.  I don't care how mad I am, or how funny the joke would be with it, I won't ever use it.  And the people who do use it in my presence is ear splittingly bad.  Nails on a chalkboard would be better than listening to some asshat, assclown, or some dumbass use it as a joke punchline or as an insult. 

I've even ended a long time friendship with a certain friend from high school since he couldn't stop using it even after I've repeatedly asked him to not use the C word to describe his ex-girlfriends, or his ex-wife.  Or using it on any woman at all.

So, when Samantha Bee on Full Frontal w/ Samantha Bee used it, I was disgusted.  Normally, she is fun, funny, entertaining, etc.  But the moment she used that word, she lost some of my respect.

It's bad enough that I've had to fight with companies like AOL, Microsoft (Hotmail / Windows Live), and even Comcast/Xfinity who have at some point or another told me that my family name, my legal surname, is a dirty word because of the 1sf four letters "K-U-N-T".  It was even worse for my female cousins who shared our family name.  They've had to use their mother's maiden names to get by in school.

So, when someone says the "C word" is no big deal, it is for me.  It should've been for certain family relatives back in 1993.  It should ALWAYS be a big deal to NOT use that word in the presence of children of any age.