I wanted to also say that yes, I was feeling down this time yesterday. I awoke in a lot of pain, as well as feeling sick to my stomach. However, when I got in the mail my new Starfleet admiralty bars in the mail yesterday afternoon, I felt instantly better!
The bars on the left were the smaller ones, not curved, and were on my uniform shirt collar. The ones on the right were, as you can see, bigger, and curved for a collar/neck area.
When I wanted to see how they'd look on my uniform, I felt the desire to have some pictures taken. So I had asked my friend from just a few doors down from my apartment to help me with the pictures, & I felt instantly better while wearing that uniform. Like I was born to wear it! She kept remarking to me how handsome I looked in that uniform!
But I digress!
So, yeah, I have mood swings. This is part of my mental health problems with bipolar disorder 2. I admit that openly not to gain sympathy/empathy from friends. Only acceptance that I have to deal with it, & have dealt with it for some time. That my depression, anxiety, etc are all part of a lifelong struggle for me, and while there's no official cure, my treatment is wearing the Star Trek outfit when I can, despite having a belly that I struggle with as well, and it doesn't help my mental health any. I would love to be back down to 165lbs, but ideally, I would settle for 180lbs.
Because my diet can't hardly change, I must find the energy, while in chronic pain, to get into exercise, but I'm always just too tired, unmotivated, & again... pain! Plus, I don't know where to start, or even how to start making it a habit again! All I know is that I 1) don't want to end up like my late father (in more ways than on), & 2) I want to live with better health, feeling better (physically & emotionally), & finally having the kind of companionship that, for whatever reason, I'm unable to imagine for myself. It may be part of my depression & other mental health problems, i.e. the bipolar disorder II.
So, if friends want to unfriend me for that, I bid you farewell, & I hope you find what you're looking for in life. Because I'm still looking for my own lifelong happiness.
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